How do I know whether I’m an introvert or an extrovert? It can be confusing. If you enjoy social situations, you might think, “How can I be an introvert?” But if you spend time with your extroverted friends, you’ll find that they’re energized after spending time with other people, while you often feel the need to have some time for yourself in order to recharge.

We all think we know what an introvert is – someone who’s just shy. Is there more to it than that?It’s a very common misconception that introverts are people who are shy. There certainly are introverts who are shy, but many people who are introverted aren’t shy at all. The difference between extroverts and introverts really has to do with where we get our emotional energy.

Q. Isn’t it just logical to think you’d feel empty when you have done everything and have what you need?A. I don’t think most people’s goals are so limited that, once they achieve them, they necessarily feel empty. We can always do better at our jobs or deepen our relationships.

Q. How long after a tragedy is it even feasible to approach this question?A. It depends so much on the particular individual and what the tragedy means to them. The example that comes to mind is someone I worked with whose oldest friend was suddenly killed in a freak accident. Within a month or two of the accident, he realized he wasn’t doing well, that his whole world had fallen apart.

When did the struggle to find a life path become an issue? My sense is that it certainly accelerated in the ‘60s when a lot of people started feeling, “We don’t have to just follow the path that was dictated for us. My dad worked in a factory or an office but I don’t have to do that.”

Is it an innate result of parenting to set children on a path or does it require conscious effort? It’s complicated. Parents can certainly help their kids find their passion in life, but only if the parents are attuned to what the child cares about and aren’t pushing their own agenda.

Do we need to search for what we’re meant to do? Don’t most lives develop a purpose without our conscious effort? Yes, many people do find a sense of purpose naturally and without much conscious effort. Some people know from a very early age that they want to be a doctor or a writer or an engineer. Other people seem to find their purpose somewhat later in their lives but still fairly effortlessly—

How do most of us define a life purpose? Is there a common definition? For most people it’s having something that gives their life direction, something meaningful, something that makes them feel “This is what I’m here to do.”Must having a purpose in life be a weighty thing?

“How can I change my life?” seems like such a huge question. How do you help clients narrow it down?The first question I ask is, “What is it you want to change?” Sometimes it’s something very specific but sometimes people say, “I need to change my work, my relationships, everything.”

How do you define life path?It’s the thing or things in a person’s life that really matter to them. I’m not thinking necessarily about a job, although for some people it’s that, but what gives a person’s life meaning. What do they care about, what really takes precedence in their lives?